Answer Man: Where did Bob Caldwell go?

Man, is anything in life more delightful than coming back to work after a week off?

Oh yes, your burning questions!

Hey, you try coming up with a segue after a week off.

Let’s get to the latest batch, my smart-aleck responses and the real deal.

Question: With all the new hotels planned, how do our antiquated water lines plan to handle this major growth? Any chance the hotel tax could be raised to help with the city’s infrastructure? At 4 percent, it is fairly low compared to other tourist destinations.

My answer: “We’re bursting with anticipation,” the apparently human water lines told me. “In fact, we burst for pretty much any occasion!”

Real answer: Believe it or not, the city’s water system has the capacity to handle them, but don’t expect a bump in hotel taxes.

“The Water Enterprise Fund is self-sufficient and does not receive funding from the General Operations Fund or from tax revenue,” said Steve Shoaf, director of the Asheville Water Resources Department. “Other infrastructure needs related to tourism and increased hotel beds may be met with funding from the occupancy tax.”

As far as the capacity, Shoaf said, “Our water system is currently operating at less than full capacity, and the addition of hotels in the city will not have an impact on our water infrastructure or our ability to meet water demands.”

Question: I heard the WNC Nature Center recently acquired a beaver. Will they display it with the other animals?

My answer: Whatever else I’ve accomplished in journalism pales in comparison with my success in not making a beaver joke here.

Real answer: The WNC Nature Center did indeed receive a beaver from a local resident the week before last.

“It was a month or two months old,” said center director Chris Gentile. “It might’ve been abandoned by its mother, or its mom could’ve gotten taken by a predator.”

The center works with a variety of wildlife rehabbers, and they found one for the beaver within a day. The center will not display the animal because beavers are nocturnal and pretty much sleep all day, Gentile said, so creating a suitable habitat is difficult.

Here’s an interesting side note: In the spring, the center “might get 25 or 30 animals a day,” Gentile said, referring to orphaned or injured wildlife. “It’s not really our mission, but people do think of us.”

The Nature Center has trained about 100 wildlife rehabilitation folks over the last five years, he said. The best approach for the public to take is to call the Nature Center first (298-5600), and they can hook you up with a rehabber.

Question: I’ve noticed Bob Caldwell is no longer on the Auto Advantage television ads. Did he retire?

My answer: There’s just no competing with Miss Boiling Springs.

Real answer: The company sent me a press release in answer to my query, and it offers something of an explanation. Titled “A thank you to Bob Caldwell,” it reads:

“Auto Advantage, the new car alternative, would like to take this opportunity to publicly thank Bob Caldwell for his 50 years of service as an accomplished weatherman and spokesperson. Bob made his mark in broadcasting at WLOS-TV, the local ABC affiliate, where he served as a weather forecaster for more than 40 years. Bob retired from WLOS in 2007 and soon thereafter became the spokesperson for Auto Advantage. During the past 7 years, Bob has helped build the brand awareness at Auto Advantage to unprecedented heights and for that we are forever grateful.

In March of this year, the dealership decided to bring another WLOS alum on board as our public ambassador. Tiffany Ervin, former host of the WLOS-TV program “Spotlight Carolina” will be seen in all local advertising along with Auto Advantage manager Richard Blake. In addition to her outstanding work on camera, Tiffany is known for her dedication to community services and has previously served as a member of the Board of Directors for The Haven Homeless Shelter, the Flat Rock Playhouse, the Salvation Army, and the Rotary Club of Hendersonville. Tiffany has also held the titles of Miss Greenville, Miss Spartanburg and Miss Boiling Springs.”

This is the opinion of John Boyle. Contact him at 232-5847 or jboyle@citizen-times.com