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| Home / Film Reviews / Universal Soldier: The Return
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Universal Soldier: The Return
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| Director: Mic Rodgers
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| Actors: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Michael Jai White, Heidi Schanz, Kiana Tom, Daniel Von Bargen
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| Rating: "Universal Soldier: The Return" is the kind of movie that gives an action plot a bad name. Starring a graying-at-the-temples Jean-Claude Van Damme, reprising his role as one of America’s robotic androids from the first flick, we now have a number of unisols (universal soldiers) always training for the next conflict but as they are already dead, our young men will be safe, under the direction of a computer called Seth with a viewport consisting of a very large Rubric’s Cube that is twisting about in a sea of vapors. Straight out of "2001," Seth lip-reads as some very ignorant army brass and some even more ignorant politicians talk about project budget cuts, including putting all those unisols back into deep freeze. Seth is shocked and decides to take over most of southern Texas! Here is another example of what’s ahead as the Republicans pull money back from everything in order to hand out tax-cuts on unearned money. Some of you might remember the first movie where Mr. Van Damme played Luc Deveraux (sounds like somebody out of the cast of "Dynasty"), as one of the first unisols who so impressed the army that he got his life back at the end. The first movie was better! If you are into nonstop action that features lots of flame, breaking glass, countless explosions, and pumped-up soldiers running about with giant Uzi’s, firing away, then being flung into the air by the mighty muscles of Luc (or more explosions) this is your kind of flick.
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